Obsessed
by Dice O'Bryan
Summary: Not really a story, this is a compilation of my obsessed lists for a bit of fun between writing chapters. Includes: Newsies Obsessed, Blood Drips Obsessed, and Why Sarah Annoys Me To No End. Also a humor short about pranking the newsies,and alterego humor
1. Obsessed

Newsies Obsessed

in no particular order

1. I watch newsies constantly

2: I in fact have watched it so many times I have it memorized

3. I know every lyric to every single song

4. I know most of the dances

5. I celebrate Max's birthday and also the month of july, where I go out in the street and randomly shout strike slogans at passersby

6. I insist all my family and friends call me by my newsie name and wont answer to anything else

7. I give my family and friends random newsie names like Jack and Boots and persist until they finally answer to that

8. I long ago made it my business to know everything about the strike and all things turn of the century that I could find as well as everything about Max I could possibly hope to know, which is quite a bit (I think I know him as well as anyone can know someone without ever having met them.)

9. From the moment I see my favorite newsie I am so totally focused and fixated on him and everything else ceases to exist

10. I have the collecters addition DVD, the soundtrack, also own BDHONS and have seen the backstage vids.

11. I constantly have to make a conscious effort not to speak in a New York accent all the time, and then mostly end up doing it anyway. (my guy gets mad at me sometimes for always talking like them, hehe.)

12. I dream about Newsies

13. There is nothing in life that does not relate to Newsies

14. I talk to my Newsies pics that cover all my walls floor to ceiling, and scarier yet sometimes I think I hear them talking back.

15. I interject lines from the movie into random conversation whenever possible.

16. I have a website dedicated to this the greatest movie of all time.

17. One of my major goals is to go to New York and sing and dance in the street whilst the natives point and stare

18. Another major goal, scream off the Brooklyn Bridge of course

19. I have a full newsies ensemble including pape bag

20. I look up the exact geography of streets and such in my fanfic to be totally accurate

Blood Drips Obsessed

in no particular order

1. I cant recall how many times I've seen it

2. And its still absolutely hilarious to me

3. I totally believe Mark David is Don Knotts

4. Again, I have it memorized and interject lines into random conversation whenever possible

5. I have put Ex-lax in someones drink just because they did it in the movie

6. I can do the dance from the end of the movie

7. Whenever I am asked where someone is I say "He's dead fucker and your next!"

8. I have a chair strategically positioned on my roof and that is a ritual I do when I move into a new place, get a ladder, drag my chair up on the roof and say, "What a gorgeous view!"

9. In a fight I usually ask my opponent if they are dead yet and then yell "GODDAMNIT!"

10. It has changed my favorite swear, which is now son of a bitch and bastard.

11. I am now convinced that all they do in the newsroom is smoke crack and snort coke, haha Lucy Boryer, but seriously I am, those people aint right in the head

12. I make a mental note when I take a shower to not drop the soap around uncle Phil

13. When someone in my family does one of those shushing things and asks if I hear somethin, I make sure to say "No, but I smell somethin"

14. I believe with all my heart that Micheal Goorjian is immortal

15. I sometimes talk about decapitating killers and do the little psycho laugh

16. I often randomly say "You stole my part you son of a bitch, how does _that_ feel?"

17. My favorite hiding place is a closet with a freakin window, I mean really how safe is _that?_

18. Ive ordered the Blood Drips t-shirts

19. When I take a crap, I nostalgically lay my head on the roll of toilet paper

20. I have introduced everyone with a VCR to this movie

Why Sarah-Ele Annoys Me To No End

in no particular order

1. When Jack finally gets to go to Santa Fe she just makes this stupid face and then smirks at him, SMIRKS! She never really understood him.

2. She couldve gotten everyone arrested while they were making that pape cause she couldnt just keep her dumb mouth shut

3. Up on the roof she says she has to go to work, but she is hanging out with JACK for cryin out loud, you'd think she could skip making a few stupid doilies. "its the same sun as here" NO SHIT Sherlock

4. The words love nest and nude make her giggle, she is so vacuous

5. She does a very annoying back and forth thing with her hands at the rally that looks so gay I want to reach in there and slap the shit out of her

6. She complains about being the only girl and the guys making crude remarks then says she loves the attention. god, make up your freakin mind

7. She pouts about him leaving, what is _wrong_ with her???

8. She gives him that disgusted look when she says "youve been staying _here_? -screams- uppity bitch!

9. She insists on reading Dentons article when clearly its the last thing Davey wants to hear, inconsiderate whore of a sister.

10. She is so stupid she couldnt even learn not to move her arm that way at the rally, well if it kept making holes in your clothes when you do that Ele maybe you should, uh, how about _not move it that way anymore!_ I guess she just didnt catch on.

11. She has no talent whatsoever and couldnt even do her own singing, what little of it she had to do

12. When she swings the one stunt puch she has in the entire film and she hits her hand on the wall. WTF Ele?????


	2. Voices in My Head

Voices in My Head

A girl sits at the computer, typing like mad, she looks at a framed picture of Max beside her on the desk and smiles, then goes for the shot of whiskey beside her and bangs it down three times on the desk beside her. She goes back to work, then all of a sudden a sarcastic voice to her right says, "Dats gonna stunt your growth ya know." Then a boy pops out of mid air to stand beside her. She rolls her eyes, being that shes short enough already, hence the comment.

"Your one ta talk Race, if I wanna hear any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head," the less maniachly evil half of Dice says.

"Wheres ya betta half?" She refers to his buddy Spot.

"Well, I didnt want _him_ ta have ta bear da annoyance of ya company did I? Wheres _your_ betta half?" He refers to her counterpart.

She glares at him, saying in a psycho voice, "I love sharp objects, I suggest you run from me." She picks up a pen.

Did I say _less_ maniachly evil? Well only slightly. "You fucked up my childhood _bitch_!" he says jokingly.

He grins and she gets up and hugs him. "Uh, what da _fuck_ is ya doin?" He raises his arms up and looks at her like shes crazy, hes not used to her being this nice.

The author is usually a real ass.

"Well, I missed ya Race." She had just recovered from a bout with writers block.

Just then, another boy pops out of mid air beside them, saying "Aww, well aint dis cute."

She turns around. "Spot! Well if assholes could fly dis place would be an airport."

They dont get it and exchange glances like _what the fuck is she talkin about, fuckin psycho_, they are from 1899 after all.

Spot smirks, then jumps on Races bandwagon, "Yea, ya fucked up my life too, borough war my _ass_. Ya know I really hate you."

She stares at his cane, then like shes always wanted to do, grabs it and runs, he chases her frantically.

"SEVEN!!! GIVE DAT BACK RIGHT NOW!"

She stops for a minute and so does he, thinking shes going to give it back.

"Well, I _would_ see things from your perspective Spot, but I cant get my head dat far up my ass!"

She runs some more but is not quite so fast and he finally tackles her and gets his cane back. She gets up.

"Oh yous such an _ass_ Conlon!" He smirks.

"Oh yea!" Race nudges her, "I got anudda joke."

She stops and listens, hes where she gets all her comic relief material.

"Ok, so dis guy goes up ta a goil in dis bar right, says to her, 'Wanna play magician?' She says, 'Whats dat?' He says 'We go ta my house an' fuck an den you disapear.'

Her and Spot laugh, and she keeps laughing deliriously.

"Ok ok, I got one too," she says, nudging him back. "Ok, so a cab driver an' a priest both go ta heaven, St. Michael takes a look in da book, gives da cabbie a gold robe an' wings an' tells him ta go on in. He looks at da priest an' thumbs through his book, gives him a cloth robe an' no wings, tells him ta go on in. Da priest is outraged an says ta da saint, 'Whats the meaning of this, that cabbie cant possibly be better than a priest.' Da saint tells him, 'When you preach, people sleep, when that cabbie drives, people pray'.

Then Race gets an idea, a wonderful idea. "Hey fellas, wanna go fuck wit Jack while hes sleepin?"

"Race, dats fuckin _brilliant!_" She gives him another one of those crazy hugs. "Ok, ok, so how do I do dat huh?"

Shes as excited as a puppy with two peters. He rolls his eyes at her. "Your the author, _moron!_"

Spot sighs dramaticly, "Dis goils a fuckin _joke_."

"Oh yea.. duh Seven," she knocks her head with the heel of her hand. She runs to the computer and starts to write.

Suddenly they pop into the bunkroom and fall in a heap on top of eachother. Spot rubs his head and glares at her.

"Now why didja make us do _dat_? It coulda been a smooth entrance, but NOOOO, little miss flare for the dramatics gotta-"

Race puts a hand over Spots mouth, they are in the bunkroom now and if they want to fuck with Jack hes going to have to be quiet. And he knows why she did it, she likes to be close to her boys and do it in a way that they wont notice and give her a hard time about it.

But his fuckin back hurts now and he turns to her and whispers. "I hate you too, _fuckin _bitch." She trys to control the giggles and eventually gets the fuck off him.

She crawls in the floor to where Jacks bunk is, they dont bother, they know he sleeps like the dead. She straightens up to where she can whisper in his ear.

"Francis," she says in a ghostly voice, she knows he hates to be called that, "Oh Francis!"

"Shut up," he grumbles sleepily, "Ya dont like da news go make ya own." She giggles quietly, Race comes up behind him and tickles his ear.

"Hey Jacky boy, havin a wet dream? Thinkin a' me?" Jack pulls the covers over his head.

She laughs then turns around, "Hey, wheres Spot?" Just then Spot comes back from the washroom with a whole thing of shaving cream. "Oh snap!"

Her and Race try to control their laughter while Spot jerks the sheet down and puts a gob in Jacks hand.

"You _know_ dat one?" She asks him, surprised.

"Shit goil, newsies _invented _dis one." Race tickles Jacks face lightly with his finger, who grumbles again and turns his head.

Race tickles him again, and as planned he smacks his face with the shaving cream, smearing it all over his face.

He opens his eyes and then they get wide and he stares murderously at the three of them.

She grabs the whole bowl of shaving cream from Spot and rams it in his face like a pie and they all run. "SEVEN!!!!... RACE, SPOT, IM GONNA KILL YOUS!"

They go and hide in the shitters til Jack calms down. "Think hes alright now?" she whispers to Race under the door. "No." They wait a while longer.

"Alright, yous can come out, I'm not gonna kill ya." Suspicious, they come into the bunkroom, where Jack is still wiping shaving cream off his face.

"Hey Jack," Race says, "Wanna get Blink?" Eager to pass on the prank to somebody else, he nods. They all grin evily.

She pumps some water into a bowl and then remembers its cold, "Hey guys, how we gonna heat dis up?"

But Jack is thinking on his feet and already has brought a lantern. She heats the bowl up over it, and they all try not to laugh.

Blink is sleeping in his bunk above Races and his hand is hanging off the edge as usual. Race takes the bowl and brings it up under Blinks hand.

He smiles that cute smile at the warmth, and then as expected a stain starts to spread on his long johns. They stifle gails of laughter and go back to the washroom.

"Ok, so what ah we gonna do now?," Jack asks. Spot picks up a razor.

"We could shave half of somebodys head." She laughs, "Nah, dats cold, oh yea, does Kloppman have ice round heah somewheres?" Race shook his head.

"Dammit! Oh oh I got it! We could soak somebody." Jack smirks, "Dat aint a prank."

"NOOO, ya know, wit water." Without waiting for a response, she drags the little tub over to the faucet and starts pumping water.

This would normally take awhile, but due to being an author she can make it take how ever long she wants and soon its full.

"Ok, so who is we gonna get?" Race asks. "Oh," Spot says, what about Mush?"

"Yea, lets get Mush!" Jack concurs, and he and Spot take the handles of the tub and carry it over to where Mush is sleeping.

They heave it back and forth and then let loose, and all the cold water comes down on poor Mush like a tidal wave. He yelps and sits up in bed, soaked.

That woke half the kids in the bunkroom up including Kid, who notices what has happened. "SEVEN!!"

He blames her, she is the notorious prankster, and thats when Mush jumps down and begins to chase her, so does Blink.

She runs fast, yelling, "Oh shit, newsies attack!"

A door opens, "What the hells goin on in here???" a womans voice says. She is back by the computer and just in the nick of time. The voice is her mom.

She grins evily at her, "I heah voices, an' dey dont like you!" The older woman gives her 26 year old daughter a crazy look.

"Oh what??? Yous jus jealous cuz da voices only talk ta me."


	3. Lets Get Together and Kill Ele

Lets Get Together And Kill Ele

More reasons to kill Ele Keats/Sarah Jacobs

(like I haven't given enough reasons already)

in no particular order

1. She asks Les what a hotdog is, grrr, shes so stupid!

2. She rated Christians kiss as a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10, what a jackass!

3. When Jack is pouring his heart out to her and asks her if she cares whether he stays or goes, she laughs at him! LAUGHS!

4. The way she drops the curtain makes me want to puke, like many other things about her tend to do

5.Why in the name of god first thing in the morning does she immediately check if there is anyone outside her window. Dork!

6. She has incestuous thoughts about her brother

7. If we don't shoot her now, she'll screw up the gene pool.

8. When David is being beat up by the Delanceys, she just cowers in a corner and screams. I mean I know girls like her weren't that tough, (obviously) but at least fuckin try GRRRR

9. She even makes doilies in the first place

10. Shes dressed like little bo peep at the rally

11. when she first met Jack, she just smiled and went back to sewing her doilies. I mean its JACK KELLY, you'd think she would have been a bit more, i don't know, excited, hospitable.. something

12. She tells Jack go up on the roof, I mean, in that period, who does this?

13. When he starts talking about Santa Fe she just gives him a weird little look and says its the same sun as here, I had to put that again, I just HATE it, shes such a moron!!!!.

14. Her hair and make up and everything about her is immaculate first thing in the morning, I mean wtf???

15. She asks him 'did you sleep out there all night, I mean god, wtf does it look like? Is a village somewhere missing an idiot?

16.She asks him if hes hungry, hes a newsie during the strike, of course hes hungry.

17. She talks about him being the strike leader like she was happy about it. Does she have any idea how hard it is to strike and not get paid, not having anything to live on or eat, or a place to live, or having to worry about getting thrown in jail or beat up by Pulitzers goons? NO

18. When he says he theres nothin for me to stay for is there she just gives him a weird look and turns her back to him.

19. Her laugh is annoying.

20. On the bonus material when Kenny came up and kissed her on the cheek, she turned around like she was going to kiss him in the mouth.

She is just annoying! Lets kill her, wanna?


End file.
